Suicide prevention – support for families and carers
Supporting someone who might be suicidal
People of all ages can experience suicidal thoughts and take action to end their lives. This information considers why someone might be thinking about suicide and gives guidance on how you can support them.
Facts and figures
- Nearly 25% of young people feel suicidal at least once in their lives.
- In any year approximately 6% of the entire population has thoughts of suicide.
- It is estimated that at least 140,000 people go to hospital each year having attempted suicide in England and Wales.
- You’re much more likely to encounter someone who needs suicide intervention than cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
- Every week approximately 120 people die by suicide in the UK.
- More than 800,000 people die by suicide worldwide each year.
References: Young Minds 2018; LivingWorks.net; ONS.gov.uk; Mind
Please remember – supporting someone who feels suicidal can feel hard on carers and families. It’s important to look after yourself too.
Myths about suicide
- When someone is suicidal, there is nothing you can do
- People who threaten suicide are attention seeking
- Only people with mental disorders are suicidal
- Talking to someone about suicide will increase the risk
Please remember that anyone can experience suicidal thoughts or feelings at any given time. It can be difficult to talk about and people don’t always know who to talk to. This might be because of barriers such as culture, stigma, shame or embarrassment.
To preserve life and prevent loss we encourage everyone to ask about suicidal thinking with the person you are caring for or supporting.
Asking someone if they are feeling suicidal does not increase the likelihood of them acting on the thoughts or make the situation worse. It can in fact have the opposite effect and for many bring a sense of relief.
What might influence suicidal thoughts?
Factors that may increase risk of suicide:
- Social isolation/loneliness
- Previous suicide attempts
- History of self-harm/self-injury
- Social deprivation
- Diagnosed mental health condition
- Loss of job
- Change in role/purpose
- Sudden loss or trauma
- Increased life pressures
- Relationship breakdown/abusive or violent relationship
- Addictions – for instance gambling, alcohol, street drugs or prescribed medications
- Increased/out of the norm use of alcohol or substances
- Financial challenges
- Bereavement
- Suicide bereavement
- Physical illness/long-term condition or disability
Warning signs to look out for:
- Struggling at work/school/college
- Loss of motivation
- Withdrawal
- Helplessness or hopelessness
- Increasing irritability or sudden rage or anger
- Anxiety
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in eating habits
- Loss of interests or change in daily activities
- Internet searches/excessive time online
- Sorting possessions
What you may hear the person say
- It doesn’t matter any more
- I can’t go on like this
- What’s the point?
- People would be better off without me
- I can’t take this any more
- I just want this all to stop
- I’ll never find a way out
- I just want to die
- It’s not worth it
- I’ve lost everything
What you can do to help someone
It is important to take anyone who talks about feeling suicidal seriously. Explore what is going on.
Ask direct questions such as:
- “Are you feeling suicidal?”
- “Do you want to die?”
- “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”
- “Are you thinking of ending your life?”
- “Do you have a plan?”
If they confirm that they have a plan, disable the plan and remove access to means if possible, to keep them safe.
Do not leave them alone if they are in crisis.
Remember to listen. Be patient and supportive.
Ask questions such as:
- “What or who can help?”
- “What has helped you in the past?”
- “Do you have a staying safe/safety plan?”
Try and establish whether they will go with you to their GP or other health professional; or whether you can help them to call someone while you’re present – this could be a health professional, family member or friend.
If they are under the care of the Trust you can ask for a copy of their staying safe plan from their healthcare professional.
There are also a range of apps and resources that can help you develop a safety plan with the person you are caring for including:
- Stay Alive
- Staying Safe
- Consider taking the Zero Suicide Alliance Training
If you think that someone is in urgent danger or at immediate risk call 999.
Urgent or emergency situations
All calls to 999 are designed to get you to the right source of help and support, this may be the police or ambulance service.
Consider the following:
- Is there an imminent threat to life or serious injury, are the actions of the person a danger to others?
- Are there concerns to access to means – illegal or unlawful possession of a weapon which they are threatening to use?
- Have they prevented access/barricaded entry/stated intent?
- Are they vulnerable, unable to take care of themselves or protect themselves?
- Are there considerable concerns for their welfare?
- Are they experiencing a breakdown in their mental health?
- Are they causing harm to themselves or have injured/acted on suicide?
- Is their level of distress unresponsive to offers of support and refusing interventions/support?
- Are they acting in a manner that may increase the risk of harm?
- Is their mental state putting others at risk and increasing their vulnerability?
- Are they unresponsive, or unable to communicate?
Calls to NHS 111 can provide medical help and advice when you have an urgent need which is not an emergency.
- Is the situation concerning and you need advice and guidance?
- Are you unclear whether you need 999?
- Is their GP unavailable?
- You cannot leave the person and are unsure what else to do to support them.
Calls to the GP practice for urgent mental health review.
- Is their mental health deteriorating but they have not seen their own GP? Request an urgent double mental health appointment, explain the concerns to suicide
- Can you go with them to the GP practice?
- If your family member or person you are concerned about won’t let you be in the appointment, ask to speak with the doctor separately or after they have been seen alone
Consent and sharing information
What if your family member or friend has told you not to tell anyone. How do you share information?
This can be a really difficult situation to deal with and it is important to be open and honest with your family member/ friend/other.
Suicide is serious. It is important to say clearly that what they have shared is concerning and that you would like them to allow you to help them to seek support and help to prevent them acting on thoughts of suicide.
If someone has shared that they are feeling suicidal, and you have tried repeatedly to help them, you can call health professionals to share your concerns in confidence. If the person has an identified health professional working with them this information can be vital in keeping safe from suicide and can help inform care and treatment.
Wherever possible working collaboratively, with openness and honesty about suicide is encouraged. Suicide prevention is everyone’s responsibility and working together helps to remove the stigma and the shame people experience when suicidal.
What if they have told other people that they are not allowed to tell you what is going on?
You may not have identified yourself as a carer, but you can (and should) always be listened to by health professionals involved, even if they do not have consent to share information with you.
If the person is under the age of 18, or where there may be concerns around capacity this should be considered under safeguarding. Vulnerability and risk is higher and therefore sharing of information is vital.
Remember you are also entitled to support, and general information can be shared with you, such as where to go to get advice and what services exist in the local area.
Always reach out and ask – this is the safest route to take.
Caregiver reactions
How you might feel if you are supporting someone who is feeling suicidal:
- Fear
- Panic
- Exhaustion
- Anxiety
- Fatigue
- Guilt
- Sadness
- Shame
- Anger
If you have experienced any of the above emotions when caring for someone who is feeling suicidal or has attempted suicide, please know that this is perfectly normal.
Everyone is different and getting the help that your family member or friend needs in times of crisis or enduringly difficult life situations, will create a wealth of different emotions.
It can impact on your day to day activities, your own appetite, sleep and will in turn affect the way you feel.
It is vitally important that you share with someone close to you and consider accepting a referral for carer support.
Local and regional support is available and national helplines are accessible to those who are caring for the suicidal person.
Caregiver support
Our Trust is committed to keeping carers and families of people who use our services informed and supported.
Identifying you as a carer is the first step to providing you with the support you need to maintain your own mental and physical health and wellbeing.
A key barrier to providing information and support for carers is that they are frequently not identified. People may not see themselves as carers, rather seeing caring as an extension of their familial role: daughters, sons or partners or as a good neighbour or friend.
If your family member/friend gives their consent your details can be recorded in their record. If they do not give consent, your details are recorded separately as you still have the right to access advice and support.
At first contact or soon after, a member of staff should ask if you (the carer) support the patient/person and take your details.
Support is accessible within the Trust and can be provided. In addition, support is accessible within your local area and staff can sign post you to support services available.
National advice is also available at: www.carersuk.org
Support is also available at: www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-HOPELINE247/
You can also contact Samaritans: www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help
Helpful contacts and resources
Samaritans
116 123 (lines open 24 hours)
www.samaritans.org
Urgent 24 hour mental health helpline (for anyone registered with a GP in Barnsley, Calderdale, Kirklees and Wakefield)
0800 183 0558
NHS111
Call 111 (lines open 24 hours) or visit 111.nhs.uk
Night OWLS (children, young people and their families)
0800 1488 244 (8pm – 8am 7 days)
by text 07984 392700
or chat on www.wynightowls.org.uk
South West Yorkshire Partnership Teaching NHS Foundation Trust carers support
www.southwestyorkshire.nhs.uk/service-users-and-carers/carers-support
NHS Talking Therapies
www.nhs.uk/talk
West Yorkshire suicide prevention
www.suicidepreventionwestyorkshire.co.uk
Mind
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else
Staying safe plan (downloadable)
www.stayingsafe.net
Advocacy
www.cloverleaf-advocacy.co.uk
R;pple
www.ripplesuicideprevention.com
Samaritans Online Safety Advisory Service
Monday–Friday between 9am–5pm, excluding bank holidays. Email onlineharms@samaritans.org
Deal with enquiries related to online harms specifically relating to suicide and self-harm.
Submit a report of harmful content
reportharmfulcontent.com
This webpage contains individual links to support the reporting directly to individual media platforms such as on social media.
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